Running: A Way

            My heart was racing. My face was dripping with sweat. My ears were ringing from the loud 80s rock music. The Seattle sun seemed to pierce right though me. Every time one of my feet hit the ground, it took all my effort to pick the other one up. Pressing on was something that I didn’t want to think about, but it was something that I promised myself that I would do. “But why do I want to do this?” I thought to myself. “Is this really what I signed up for?”

            My first memory of trying to run a mile was back in 5th grade. During P.E., our teacher timed us as we ran a couple laps in the grass around the baseball field. I wasn’t able to run the whole time, but I did have a goal to finish before my friend did. As it turned out, my friend had the exact same goal, and succeeded unlike me. In spite of that fact, it wasn’t a painful experience, and I think I had an enjoyable time. Running wasn’t so bad.

            When I reached middle school, I learned a completely different lesson. I was taught that if you like running, then you must be doing it wrong. It was supposed to be a miserable chore designed to build character and put hair on your chest, or something. My obese-beyond-belief P.E. teacher would have us run around the crunchy gravel track in the blinding sun. Meanwhile, he stood in the middle, blowing his whistle and yelling at us if we weren’t going fast enough.

            It only got worse in high school, as the distance increased to a two mile trip around our campus. I got to the point where I really didn’t care enough to try any more. I would just walk most of the time, even if I wasn’t tired or exhausted.  I couldn’t see a single reason to put forth any effort. Even if I had pushed myself, I wouldn’t receive a good grade. Why try you best, when even your best isn’t good enough?  What did the people who came up with this system think they would accomplish? In my heart, I actually wished that I could run, but the humiliation of hyperventilating in front of my peers while receiving praise from no one didn’t seem very attractive.

            The summer after I graduated, I bought a shiny-new white iPod. I used it listen to Podcasts, which are basically radio shows that you can download and listen to anytime. I enjoyed them, but it felt a little boring when I listened to them while sitting down and doing nothing else; so I decided that I might as well take a walk in the meantime. It became a habit for me to walk about an hour each day while listening to my Podcasts. For me, it was just something to do, but I eventually noticed that I felt better in general. I was healthier and in reasonably good shape now.

            It wasn’t too long until I was on my mission in Richmond Virginia. There were some months where I had the “opportunity” to ride my bike in hundred degree humid weather, but most of my mission I had a car. Working out wasn’t exactly on my mind either. However, one day towards the end of my mission my mom sent me a clipping from our local newspaper, the Everett Herald. It was a big front-page article about a computer teacher I had in high school. I recalled that between my freshman and sophomore year, she lost nearly a hundred pounds. I assumed that she just starved herself, like most people who try to lose weight, but I learned from the article that she her secret was running. Her young experiences with running seemed identical to mine. She hated it when she was in school, but she tried it again when she was older. When she started, she couldn’t even run a mile, but she persevered, learned to really enjoy it, and now she runs marathons.

            That article really inspired me. I held on to it, but I decided I couldn’t seriously start my attempt at running until after my mission was over. A few weeks after I got back home to Washington, I decided it was time to make it happen. I set a goal to run a mile within three months. I bought another iPod—I had sold the old one to a friend—and this time I loaded with some hardcore techno music, the kind that can make even the best of people go crazy. I tied my shoes and went outside, ready conquer the world. I walked a few minutes to warm up, and then started running. Off into the sunset I went, and I lived happily ever after. In reality, I was so out of breath after a minute that I had to stop.

            Before that point in my life, I had never been so exhausted and ecstatic at the same time. It was such a rush and a thrill to just let everything else go and run down the sidewalk of my suburban neighborhood. For the first time in my life, I ran and I enjoyed every moment of it. As soon as I was able, I ran for another minute. I repeated this a couple more times, and followed this routine day after day. That summer was surprisingly hot for a town near Seattle, which made running difficult, but I had a goal. I promised myself that for once in my life I was going to follow through with what I decided to do. I wasn’t going to let a little heat get in the way of what I wanted—no excuses.

            A few weeks ahead of schedule I went to the track with a friend, the very same crunchy gravel track that I ran on in middle school. I still didn’t feel ready to run a mile, but I wanted to measure my progress. At the moment I reached half a mile, I realized I had run farther than I ever had done before. I could stop any moment with a sense that I’ve accomplished something. At the same time, I realized that with every passing footstep I was breaking new ground. I kept going. There was nothing that was going to stop me from running this mile. The ache in my side, the shortness of breath, and my pulse which I could hear pounding in my head—all of these things were irrelevant. Even the doubts in my mind didn’t matter. I heard myself ask “Why am I doing this?” and “Is this really what I signed up for?” but when I crossed the finish line, the answers to these questions became so obvious that they weren’t worth thinking about.

More important than the fact that I ran a mile was the fact that I pushed myself harder than I had ever done before. I had learned what self-mastery is all about. When I decide to do something and don’t follow through, it’s because I didn’t fully apply myself. I decided that the reason for my past failures was laziness. In other words, my mind didn’t have the power to tell my body who’s boss.

After that I set more ambitious goals to run greater distances. It took me less than a month to run two miles, and it wasn’t too long after that where I ran a 5k (about three miles). A couple months later I reached my goal of five miles, and soon hit eight miles.  I also set a goal to run a half-marathon, and eventually a full marathon, but I’m still working on that. More importantly, from running, I’ve learned a lot of life’s great lessons that I missed in high school by not being diligent. Somehow, even though I was never expecting there to be a connection, what I’ve learned by running has translated into helping me be a better college student, and a healthier and happier person.